Aslaug's Axe Shed

Because today, my good friend Maria is getting married. I can’t be there, since this happens in Denmark, but for those of you who follow my blog, you know I was at the hen party a couple of weeks ago.

Epic stuff.

Maria’s wedding, however, has me thinking about marriage and relationships in general. Obviously, a wedding should be a source of joy and happiness, and fortunately, that is almost always the case. Naturally, there are tragic situations where it is not, but in this, our post-modern Western culture, marriage is not so much a social contract anymore, as it is a symbolic union of love. If you go back a hundred years, or even fifty years in some places, marriage was a different beast altogether, but this is not a history lesson, and I won’t be going into that in any real detail now.

The fact of the matter is that my friend has fallen in love and fortunately, it is a mutual feeling. And that the two happy people are going to “tie the knot”.

So what is this about? It’s simple really.

It’s about readiness.

At one time, I knew a girl who thought in all seriousness, that if she wasn’t married and a mother at LEAST once by the time she was 23, her life would practically be over. She’d be an old maid and she’d be doomed forever to wander the wastelands of solitude (to get a bit pseudo-poetic about it). We all tried to tell her how ludicrous this was, but no amount of persuasion or reasoning could convince her otherwise.

She didn’t marry until earlier this year, and by now, she’s gone past 23 by several years.

I know plenty of other people who will sprout lines such as “I don’t believe in marriage” or similar. Hell, one old and sadly long-lost friend once swore in front of an audience of fifty that she would never get married. It should be said that her boyfriend was in attendance too. Five years later he came home from work one day, gave her a ring and said “do you want to?” and she crumbled and said yes on the spot.

So yes, this is about readiness. About being ready to commit oneself to a lifelong relationship.

Saying “I do” and promising to love, honor and respect the person you’re standing next to at that moment for the rest of your life. But when we make that commitment, we are typically in our twenties, and “the rest of our lives” could … in rare cases, be another eighty years! Do we truly understand what this means at that young age?

Some people do, and others, obviously, do not. I firmly believe Maria knows what it means. She has gone through some of the most traumatic experiences in the past of any person I know, and she knows fully well not to do something like this lightly.

She is not a rarity in this, but it is still thoughtprovoking how many couples find out that marriage means more than simply having a permanent boyfriend or girlfriend, and who subsequently end up divorcing. I think, in many cases, this happens because people don’t fully realize what they are getting into.

I know I didn’t, for one.

Worst mistake of my life.

Not so for people like Maria. Her husband after today, Søren, is a good man. I’ve met him, and I think I am a good judge of character. He gives me the best kind of feeling inside, and I have no doubt that he’d carry his wife on hands and knees through life if that’s what it took. Fortunately, I think they’ll carry each other, more than anything else. And that’s the way it should be.

I have prayed to Vår, this morning, for their wedding. I hope it was heard. But as I sat down by my computer afterwards … because I am the kind of person I am … I thought of some of all the people I’ve met whose marriages didn’t make it. One of my mother’s old friends is now on her husband number four, for example. Whenever people talk of her, I keep thinking of Elizabeth Taylor … who seemed to think of marriage as a lottery and entertainment more than anything else.

When we do something as serious as this, whether it is a secular marriage or a religious one, we need to be certain that we are doing the right thing. Not just for ourselves, but for the other person too. Even for those we call friends. No happy marriage has ever come without certain sacrifices, after all.

This is turning into a rambling rant, I know. But I hope some of you can follow me, anyway. Two days ago was Thanksgiving in the United States. And as old readers of this blog will know, I have celebrated it in Denmark for a few years, with old friends, eating good food and watching football games. We never celebrated the religious part of it, but always did it in the spirit of “It’s good to simply sit down and reflect about what we have to be thankful for in life”. I have been in a reflective kind of mood for a few days because of this, and I guess that’s why I ended up giving this so much thought.

It’s worth stopping once in a while, and reflect on the good things in life. As the great Hans Christian Andersen wrote:

“Just living is not enough,” said the butterfly, “One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower”.

Stop and reflect about the good things in life, and how fortunate we are to have them. It doesn’t hurt, and it may even make you smile.

In the meantime, I’ll be wishing my friend all the best in her future, married life.

Hail Vår.

… by more good fortune and more good friends than I sometimes think I deserve. And no, this is not a sobstory, and it is not a rant. On the contrary, my friends, this is a happy, happy blog-entry.

I have now been in Denmark since wednesday the 9th of november, and everything has been amazing. Absolutely amazing. I started by going home to my parents’ place … you know, that will always equate to “going home”, regardless of how old you grow. Wednesday evening when I arrived, we just relaxed, ate some dinner and watched a bit of telly, but otherwise called it an early night. Thursday my father spent at home, and we got to talk about all and sundry, having a great time together and just relaxing and doing nothing much of anything really.

Friday was my birthday. My Mum was home from work that day, and we spent it chatting like we haven’t really had much of a chance of doing for almost a decade. It was probably the best birthday present anyone could have given me, and I mean that in absolute sincerity. In the evening, my father came back and made my favorite for dinner … Danish yellow pea soup. My brother arrived an hour later and we had a proper family dinner, and I got a really great book about the first world war, that I look VERY much forward to reading, some money, some absolutely wonderful classical CDs and a big bottle of this year’s christmas-schnapps. Noms!

Saturday I continued on towards Northern Jutland and Nibe. The idea was to meet up with old friends and play some roleplaying games to finish off a campaign, but true to form … something had gone awfully wrong about the email-communication. Ah well, I will see most of them anyway, but of course it was a bit of a letdown to not be able to meet up with them and play.

Or at least it would have been, if it hadn’t turned out to be the day of the hen party of one of my oldest friends, Maria. Remember the Harrig-family whom I wrote about over a year ago? Maria has finally met a genuinely sweet, wonderful, kind man who treats her like she deserves, and they are getting married on the 26th this month. Guess who happily managed to land from Dublin right in the middle of it? Yep … yours truly.

Put it this way. It was such an awesome night, with such amazing people that I honestly think I have made a couple of good, lasting friendships (Hi Tina … just in case you see this). We drank … we recorded a song (Maria, if you change your mind and want me to call Simon Cowell, let me know), we drank some more … and then -I- sang! Molly Malone, at the top of my lungs, at Irish House (a pub in Aalborg, owned by an Irishman). We went back to Maria’s brother and sister-in-law and had dinner, where I gave an impromptu speech that made Maria weep (everyone keeps saying they were good tears though, so I think I did okay), and then we went back out for more drinking.

It was an amazing day. Absolutely fantastic in every way.

But here is the thing. I got to re-connect for real, with Martin Harrig, Maria’s older brother, and his wife Charlotte, whom I hadn’t met or really spoken much with for about seven years.

And they are amazing people. I am sitting in their kitchen, writing this. They opened their home to me, so I had a place to crash overnight, and when I ordered my planeticket from Aalborg to Copenhagen, Martin gave me back the money for the ticket and said “Keep it … you can pay us back by being our tourguide when we visit Dublin!”

I mean honestly, how blessed can one person be with nice people in his or her life?

Thank you guys. When I go home, I will remember this trip, and I will TREASURE it, and all that has happened. And I promise I will not only be a tourguide in Dublin when you need one, but I will be back to visit! There is no question about that.

You guys are, in two words, -the best-!

Hi everyone,

I know, I know, it’s been a long time. Way too long. This probably won’t be a long update, either, but simply one to explain why I’ve not made more noise. It’s been a strange life lately. Strange, but quite good.

As you all know, I work for a software company here in Dublin. I have done so for the better part of eight months, while writing this, and I have just been told that I am doing a very, very good job. Y’know, that ALWAYS feels good. When your boss tells you that you are good at what you do, it just makes you straighten your back a bit and feel better about yoruself

I am still writing, but at a drastically reduced pace. The reason simply is that at the moment, I have work, evening classes and a blossoming social life to occupy me as well. I will be posting new things as of the first of November, however, and I will, at least for a while, be posting on a monthly basis. Or rather, Bastion will be posting on a monthly basis on my behalf. Thanks mate, I still appreciate all the help

I have been given more responsibility at work lately, and it is genuinely a good feeling. I was not feeling too happy for a while, feeling like I was stuck in a rut, unable to move out of place, but as a couple of our most senior colleagues have moved to other things in the company, I have been given new and far more engaging work to do. Quite importantly, I have volunteered to do some work for two other teams, and while this is going to sound grossly self-indulgent, the realization that someone is grateful for the help I’m giving really makes it all worth it.

Damned that came out all wrong, but I hope you all know what I mean.

On a personal level, I am now fully settled into the house where I moved in the beginning of August. I get along with my housemates very well indeed, and I enjoy that even though we have vastly different schedules, we try to make it so that every Sunday, we’ll have dinner together and talk about the week in general.

Sometimes, one of us can’t be present, but we do try

This Sunday, however, I won’t be there. For many of you, it should come as no surprise that I am a diehard, dyed-in-the-wool, bleeding-navy-and-orange-and-believing-that-George-S.-Halas-was-a-demigod Chicago Bears Fan.

A true fan. Not a winner-joiner from the years when it went well, but someone who became a fan when things were at their most bleak for my team. Someone who has followed them for twenty damned years, and never once had a chance to see them play live.

Until now.

Every year, the National Football League hosts one regular season match in London, at the legendary Wembley stadium. This Sunday, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Chicago Bears collide, and yours truly will be on the ledgers, wearing navy and orange and cheering her team on!

I have wanted this for so many years, and now I finally have the chance. And I will enjoy myself, whether my team wins or loses. I will enjoy myself, because this is about football, not life-or-death, and because it’s about having a fantastic experience.

I will see you all on the flip side

Yep, I am of course talking about election-time. Danish election time, that is. And of course, yours truly isn’t voting this time. Not because I don’t want to but because, as an emigree, I have lost my right to vote until such a time where I deem it right and proper to return to Denmark.

Which, the more I think about it, is likely to be never.

And if this election ever stood a chance of changing my opinion, then I have been sorely disappointed. In fact, I have been sorely disappointed in general, trust me!

Over the last couple of weeks, the political parties in Denmark have wasted their own and everyone else’s time spouting absolute BULLSHIT about how awful the other guys are, and how dangerous they would be for Denmark. Which may sound familiar to some of you, but for a Danish election, this really has been a new all-time low. A person voting for the first time would have practically NO change to figure out what each party stood for, because literally all their time and effort has been spent smearing their opponents.

And here’s the bomb in the chicken-coop.

BOTH sides have been equally bad. Both the right and the left. None of them have any moral high ground left after this election. I truly believe that this election has become a matter of one horrible choice or the other. No politicians have genuinely stood up and said “this is what we want, and this is how we are going to bring the country out of the awful situation it is in right now”. Denmark is in a double-dip recession, but the government refuses to acknowledge this, and instead has once again started talking about tax-breaks for the wealthiest … all the while the larger party in government now openly say “we are the new worker’s party” (quote as of today).

The opposition, however, has had so many slowballs thrown at them that it is nauseating to watch them strike out again and again as they seem more interested in screaming foul at the umpire instead of hitting one home-run after the other.

I am disgusted. Utterly, utterly disgusted, and I am angry.

The election is on Thursday, and as I have said on facebook. “Mother Denmark is up to her neck in feces, and not ONE politician seems interested in explaining to the electorate how they are going to wash her off and make her attractive again”.

At least the Irish acknowledge that their situation is awful and that it will take a long time, hard work and sacrifice to get over the hump and into better times.

Gods -damned- it …

I want a new government in Denmark, but I am pretty sure by now, that whatever government we get is going to be made up of incompetent jackasses, and it doesn’t matter WHICH side of the political spectrum wins anymore.

They’re all equally bad.