Aslaug's Axe Shed

Time for one of those rare posts where I’m not being too serious. I remembered something from years ago, when an aquaintance of mine triumphantly declared he had invented a new funny game.

“Oh yeah?” I said, somewhat incredulously. Not that I didn’t believe he had the mental faculties to invent a new game, but because I saw the look on the man’s face … and I know a rat when I see one!

He’s a trickster, this guy. A practical joker. Or he was then, at least. But he insisted. Oh yes, he had invented the new pastime for the 21st century.

I had to hear this, so … absolutely against my better judgment I asked him what this game was.

Man, I never learn, do I?

“AHA!” he exclaimed, as if to underline the importance and seriousness of the situation … all the while grinning like the Grim Reaper on LSD … “I have invented a game involving the INTERNET! Yes! Take two completely unrelated words … two words that could not possibly be thought of by rational, sane human beings in the same context … and type them into a Google search-bar!”

“Aha,” I echoed, ever more incredulous. “Two completely unrelated words like …?”

“Oh I don’t know,” this fellow said. “How about … unicorns and gonads?”

My brain suffered a temporary shutdown at the implications. While legend states that only a virgin can ride a unicorn, that very term suddenly got entirely new horrible meaning in my somewhat dirty mind … which of course the man in front of me was PERFECTLY aware of, git that he was!

“Gonads and unicorns?” I asked, by now unable to contain my ABSOLUTE incredulity any longer.

“Yes yes! Or Unicorns and gonads. It doesn’t matter which way around. Honestly, you should try to think up some examples and look it up. I bet you anything you’ll get a good hard laugh out of it!”

I nodded and slooooowly backed away from the insanely grinning person in front of me. You know … like one backs away from a dangerous animal (I’m sure in some ways he could be classified as such).

I lived right next door. Twenty feet away.

Gonads and unicorns, unicorns and gonads …

These two words, neither of them particularly horrible in their own right (One is a thing of myth and fantasy that many girls dream of, the other is a horse with a goat’s beard and a horn on its forehead … meh, go figure) kept swirling around in my mind.

They were still swirling around in my mind when I went to bed that night.

Realizing to my own horror, that I would dream STRANGE dreams that night, involving … well … you know … I finally got up and turned on my computer.

And yes, I looked up “unicorn+gonads” on Google.

And as I sat there and marveled at the sheer number of pages that included these two otherwise rather inoccuous words … I realized that at that moment, the guy next door had won.

He made me look.

And now, I betcha … so will you!